Published February 09, 2009 08:06 am - If my boss would just double my salary I’d be way funnier.
Paid to perform — poorly
A lot of people have been picking on Tom Daschle because he forgot to pay $102,000 in taxes on a free round-the-clock limousine service someone provides for him.
Which is so unfair.
The former South Dakota senator and now big-time health industry lobbyist is a busy man.
I can see him leaving his house in the tony Foxhall Lane neighborhood of Washington, D.C., kissing his wife good-bye as he walks to the driveway:
“Hey, what’s that?”
“That’s your limo and driver, honey.”
“Really? I have a limo?”
“Yes, you’ve had if for years.”
“I’ve been so busy I never thought about how I get to work.”
Sure, when he was growing up in Aberdeen he probably had time to remember he drove a pickup truck. But now, toiling at a lobbying firm for $2 million a year, he has a lot on his mind.
I’m guessing that now that he remembers he has a limo, he’ll probably want to take it on a visit back home.
“Hey, Bernard, go down to the Corn Palace, just keep driving the limo around the block so people can see me.”
“Yes sir, Mr. Daschle.”
“Then let’s go to that big steel dinosaurs display and head over to Wall Drug. They got free water there.
“Yes sir.”